MTV would have you believe that their award show is the biggest of the year and a must-watch. Normally I would disagree but having Aziz Ansari hosting this year made me watch. Thank god for DVR so I can skip all the Twilight bs and just catch the fifteen minutes of funny.

Aziz did not disappoint. The opening montage parodying The Blind Side and Precious was fairly amusing. I must admit that Justin Bieber annoys the crap out of me though and was happy that his bit where girls were supposed to go wild when he dried his hair failed. Good try, Macaulay Caulkin wannabe. Aziz provided a lot of energy to the show and his childish delivery suits MTV well.

One thing I was not expecting was Tom Cruise reprising his role as Les Grossman. Grossman carried the show in the beginning and provided some great laughs. Generally when a character does so well and is reused they fall on their face. Tom Cruise just owns this character and it was gracefully done.

Before the show the main attraction was the cast of The Jersey Shore. Admittedly, I watched the first season. It is the kind of crap TV that makes you laugh at how dumb it is. It is definitely on par with Flavor of Love. MTV debuted the first ten minutes of the next season of Jersey Shore (not in Jersey Shore, in Florida). It looked like the same crap they peddled last year and why not? The stuff sells.

Ed Helms and Ken Jeong were hilarious. Two of the most underrated comedians came together to play "Stu's Song" from The Hangover. All of this led up to Tom Cruise/Les Grossman making another splash. Pure gold. It really makes you forget for awhile that Tom Cruise is insane. The addition of J-Lo to the mix did not add much to the performance; I imagine they just needed to find a place for her in the show.

The show always brings new trailers and hypes upcoming films. The first world premiere trailer during the show was for the highly anticipated Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. The trailer did not provide much insight into the film, but if you're a fan of the series you likely have read the book already. The second trailer was of The Twilight Saga: The Eclipse. Gag me. The trailer, designed to excite new viewers surely did nothing to find any new audiences but lucky for the studio, there's plenty of people that eat this crap up already.

The show was filled with way too many bleeps. Two were even missed when Mark Wahlberg dropped f-bombs. I understand MTV's need to be trashy and on edge, but bleeping out ten percent of your dialog proves nothing.

Awards

Best Female Performance - Kristen Stewart (New Moon)
Ugh. You've got to be kidding me. I guess this is riding merely on the movie's coattails with the fans rather than Stewart's acting. Most of the movie all she does is bite her lip. Surely there was someone more deserving than Stewart who was snubbed. I believe Anna Kendrick from Up in the Air would have been fitting but she was not nominated. Of the nominees, Gabourey Sidibe deserved it. Her role in Precious was riveting and probably the last we'll ever see of her.

Breakout Star - Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air)
I was glad to see Anna get this award. Up in the Air was arguably the best film of the past year. As a consultant, I really connected with the film and Anna Kendrick gave George Clooney a run for his money on the screen. The only problem is that she is currently locked into the dreadfulness that is the Twilight trilogy. Look for more of her after those movies are over and she can branch out.

Best Scared as Shit Performance - Amanda Seyfried (Jennifer's Body)
I'm glad Amanda was able to admit that no one actually watched this film. The movie was horrible and I don't find Seyfried appealing as an actor, but maybe that was because she stood by Megan Fox the entire time. Most of the nominations for this category were b-listers that don't deserve an award. I would have much rather given it to Sharlto Copley from District 9. D9 was a very underrated film and its unusual style was panned by a lot of viewers but it was fresh and new.

Best Kiss - New Moon weirdos
Cheesy MTV award preceded by a cheesy kiss cam including the stock homosexual innuendo of dudes feverishly making out. That bit ended with The Situation chasing the dork from GREEK off the stage. The award was lame and so was the acceptance speech involving Kristen Stewart and Pattinson attempting to make funny jokes about them kissing. I wish I had the five minutes of my life back from this category.

Generation Award - Sandra Bullock
This award seemed like an intervention for the depressed; a handout to a looney-tunes Sandra Bullock so she doesn't slit her wrists at night. Besides her performance in The Blind Side, I can honestly say that her career work is nothing deserving of an award to spotlight someone defining their generation. In her speech she closed with asking us to pray for those PEOPLE affected by the Gulf spill. If I thought prayer would do anything I would pray for the spill to stop and the prevention of mass genocide of entire species of animals, but that's just me. Oh well, at least she made out with Scarlett Johansson.

Best WTF Moment - Ken Jeong (Hangover)
Ken Jeong is the man. His acceptance speech was the most heartfelt and genuine of the night, something you would not expect from a comedian. Jeong teared up while letting the world know his wife conquered cancer. I wish the two the best of luck and can't wait for Ken to make people laugh for years to come. Ken has projects coming up and is moonlighting on the show Community where he plays a crazy Spanish teacher.

Best Villain - Tom Felton (Harry Potter)
Another weak category with not a lot to provide. I don't really think the best villain of the year award should go to a teenage punk who looks like he couldn't bench press the bar. He certainly isn't even the main villain in his own movies. I'm sure all of you Potterheads out there will be quick to argue with that point, but the truth is the kid is not a character that should win best villain.

Biggest Badass Star - Rain (Ninja Assassin)
Rain was pretty great as a ninja in this film. The acting was below par but as far as this category goes, he definitely deserved it. Ninja Assassin lives up to the high demands of action movies and impresses you visually. If you haven't had a chance to catch the film and love movies that lack in-depth plots and dialog, then this movie is for you. 100% action 100% of the time. The trailer alone is exhilarating and breathtaking.

Best Male Performance - Robert Pattinson (New Moon)
If you haven't been able to tell already, I am not a fan of this garbage. I see how it continues to win awards given the nature of MTV though. These "stars" will be forever typecast into vampire, werewolves and Goth-chic. I would much rather have the award go to Carlos from The Hangover than this tool. The future generations of movie-goers will look back on this time and wonder what the hell all the hype was about.

Best Comedic Performance - Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover)
Was there ever any doubt? G-Money is comedy gold in this movie and stole the show. His performance as a borderline ruh-tard who roofies his own friends will go down as the best offbeat performance of the past decade. Zach's character not only provided one-liners and physical comedy but also entire scenes where he had you laughing your ass off. Kudos to Galifiankis and friends for making a great Bro film.

Best Movie - New Moon
You have got to be kidding me. New Moon manages to beat out Avatar for movie of the year. Avatar was the highest-grossing film of all time. Obviously The Hurt Locker is a little too deep for the MTV crowd, but Avatar should have dominated this cult crap movie.

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